Episode 2: Coping with Imposter Syndrome
Jenna Slaughter
Embodiment Coach, Speaker, Heart-Forward Business Coach
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Definition
an internal experience of believing that you are not as competent as others perceive you to be.
Doing well doesn't actually change your perception of imposter syndrome though. It leaves you thinking things like..."What gives me the right to be here? Who am I to charge that rate?" Even tho that's what would actually support you and your growth. It's like The more you accomplish, the more you just feel like a fraud. It's as though you can't internalize your experiences of success.
Signs of imposter syndrome:
- Trying to be an "expert or guru" before starting to share what you've learned with other people. Yes, always continue learning, but don't spend 20k in certificates so you have some external source pat you on the head and tell you that you're good enough.
-Not finishing something and putting out there because you're worried something in it might be wrong or never being happy with it
It can feel like you're crashing a wedding and you're just waiting for the people around you to figure out that you weren't really invited.
For me this looked like ghosting my fucking audience after raising my rates to something sustainable full-time. This looked like not posting my testimonials because "what if someone else doesn't get this same experience? This looked like not mentioning my podcast much after I went on season break because am I just going to be one of those people that makes one season and QUITS?!
This also comes up MASSIVELY during launching or talking about offers, having that fear of judgment from others that I'm being too annoying, too loud, too spiritual, too BLAH BLAH BLAH inner aunt Betty.
AND I HAD TO REALIZE- the people that are going to judge me are going to do it anyway, so I might as well give them something authentic and fun to look at while they do. I'd rather be judged for living my truth than be judged for some BS I'm trying to pretend to be.
You gotta realize- nobody fucking knows what they're doing NOBODY. Literally nobody ever knows things until they start trying them.
I have a whole ass website, brand, product suite, co-coaching opportunities, a podcast, a candle business I started accidentally etc and I had to learn every facet of it as I went. Brick by brick you make a house, if you look at someone else's building process who has been learning and perfecting it for years, you're going to have a bad time.
The only difference between you and them is that they decided to just fuck around and try, and then kept making that decision over and over.
The ONLY DIFFERENCE is the starting point and willingness to learn and grow through things that feel uncomfortable.
What I need you to realize is, discomfort is part of the deal with this human experience. the universe is always evolving and expanding, and you are too. My question is, are you willing to be in discomfort while creating your dream or in discomfort because you are resisting it?
You see people's highlights reel, you are the only one who sees the entire gamut of emotions and experiences- I need you to realize you're making a false equivalency.
Questions to ask yourself:
"Ask, is that true? is it 100% true?"
"What core beliefs do I hold about myself?"
"Do I believe I am worthy of love as I am?"
"Must I be perfect for others to approve of me?"
recognize when comparison is at play, is someone working in the same niche as you and you're comparing your every move to theirs? if it feels good, mute them, they'll never know.
Follow people who bring not just their wins but their humanness to the table like @RachelGibler , @evolvewithevelyn, @themoneyinstitute
Affirmations:
"I am real and my humanness is non-negotiable. I embrace all that I am"
"my voice matters and I deserve the good things that are coming my way"
"What if I AM good enough as I am?"Links